So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
