apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
