Ketchup is God's man juice
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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