I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
