I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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