Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
