Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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