We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
