Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
We just shotgunned beers for America
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
