scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
