Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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