I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
