We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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