I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
