i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
