You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
