I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
