no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
