Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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