Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
