he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
