conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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