It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
