I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
