who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
