ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
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