Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
