went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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