We're like a lot better than the average bears
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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