That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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