Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
