I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
