So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
She needs sedatives and a leash
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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