Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
