I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
