why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize