Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
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