so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
