I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
