Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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