On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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