She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Randomize
