I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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