How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
