just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
