Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
