Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
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