she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
