I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
