No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
