I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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