If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
