Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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