i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize