Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Randomize
