I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
