Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Randomize
