she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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