Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
