I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You ruined the universe
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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