so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize