I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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