they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Randomize
