Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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