Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
