And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
well you can't waste a boner
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
