My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
