Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I look better un-naked...
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
