Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Drake has all the answers
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
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