Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
she woke up with a sticky ear
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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