She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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