but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
