Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
