Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize