Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
