My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
