Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Its about making memories worth repressing
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
