If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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