I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
