Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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